Duke Orsino of Illyria was so much in love that he asked for music. He said that if music was the food of love, he wanted more and more of it, until his appetite grew sick and died. He listened to a sad song and said it had a dying fall. At first it had come over his ear like sweet breath on a bank of violets, stealing and giving odour, but then he said enough, because it was not so sweet now as it had been before. He said love was quick and fresh, and like the sea it swallowed everything and made it seem worthless in a minute. Curio asked whether the Duke would go hunting. Orsino asked what he should hunt. Curio said the hart. Orsino said he was hunting the noblest hart he had. When he first saw Olivia, he thought she had purified the air of pestilence, and at that instant he was turned into a hart, and his desires, like cruel hounds, had pursued him ever since. He asked for news from Olivia. Valentine came back and reported that he had not been admitted to see her. Olivia's maid had given this answer: for seven years she would not let anyone see her face openly. She would walk veiled like a nun, and once a day she would water her room with tears, to keep fresh the love she had for her dead brother. Orsino said that if she could love a brother so deeply, she would love even more when love filled her whole being—liver, brain, and heart—with one king. He told his attendants to lead him to beds of flowers, where love-thoughts lay rich under shady trees.

In another part of Illyria, Viola had survived a shipwreck with a captain and a few sailors. She asked what country they were in, and the captain said it was Illyria. Viola wondered what she should do there. She said her brother was in Elysium, but perhaps he was not drowned, and asked the sailors what they thought. The captain said it was only by chance that she herself had been saved. Viola said, "O my poor brother, and so perhaps he may be." The captain said true, madam, and to comfort her with chance, he told her that after their ship split, when she and the few saved with her hung on their driving boat, he had seen her brother bind himself, courage and hope teaching him, to a strong mast that lived on the sea. There, like Orion on a dolphin's back, he had seen him hold on to the waves as long as he could see. Viola gave the captain gold, because her own escape made her hope that her brother had done the same. She asked whether he knew the country. The captain said he knew it well, for he had been born not three hours' travel from that very place. Viola asked who governed there. The captain said a noble Duke, in nature as in name. Viola asked his name. The captain said Orsino. Viola said she had heard her father name him, and that he had been a bachelor then. The captain said he was so now, or had been so very late, for but a month ago he had gone from there, and then people were talking about how he sought the love of fair Olivia. Viola asked who Olivia was. The captain reported that she was a virtuous maid, the daughter of a Count who had died about a year earlier, leaving her in the care of her brother, who had also died soon after. People said she had given up seeing and meeting men because of her love for her brother. Viola said she wished she could serve that lady and might not be known to the world until she could make her own situation better. The captain said that would be hard, because Olivia admitted no suitors, not even the Duke's. Viola said she trusted the captain's fair behaviour, and though a beautiful outside sometimes hid a bad mind, she believed his mind matched his fair outside. She asked him, for good pay, to hide what she was and help her disguise herself. She said she would serve the Duke, and he should present her to him as a eunuch, a male servant. She said it might be worth his pains, for she could sing and speak to him in many kinds of music, so he would find her service worthwhile. She left the rest to time and asked him to keep her plan secret. The captain said be you his eunuch, and your mute I'll be; when his tongue blabs, then let his eyes not see. Viola thanked him and told him to lead her on.

At Olivia's house, Sir Toby Belch, Olivia's uncle, complained that his niece was taking her brother's death too seriously, because care was an enemy to life. Maria, one of Olivia's women, told him that he must come in earlier at night, because his cousin, my lady, objected to his late hours. Sir Toby said let her object, but he would not be kept out. Maria said he must confine himself within modest limits. Sir Toby said he would confine himself no finer than he was: these clothes were good enough to drink in, and so were these boots; and if they were not, let them hang themselves in their own straps. Maria said his drinking would undo him, and that Olivia had talked about it yesterday, and about a foolish knight Sir Toby had brought in one night to be her suitor. Sir Toby asked who, Sir Andrew Aguecheek? Maria said him. Sir Toby said he was as tall a man as any in Illyria. Maria asked what that had to do with it. Sir Toby said he had three thousand ducates a year. Maria said he would have but a year in all these ducates, because he was a very fool and a spendthrift. Sir Toby said fie that she would say so, because he played on the viol-de-gamboys, spoke three or four languages word for word without a book, and had all the good gifts of nature. Maria said he had indeed, almost natural, for besides being a fool he was a great quarreller, and unless his cowardice kept him from fighting, wise people thought he would soon have the gift of a grave. Sir Toby called those who said that scoundrels. Maria said they added that he was drunk nightly in Sir Toby's company. Sir Toby said he drank toasts to his niece and would drink to her as long as there was a throat in Illyria; anyone who would not drink to his niece was a coward. Then Sir Andrew came in.

Sir Andrew greeted Sir Toby and blessed Maria, fair shrew. Maria said and you too, sir. Sir Toby told Sir Andrew to accost Maria, meaning to approach her, but Sir Andrew asked what that was. Sir Toby said she was his niece's chamber-maid. Maria said good mistress accost, she desired better acquaintance, and gave her name as Mary. Sir Andrew said good mistress Mary, accost. Sir Toby said he mistook, knight: accost was front her, board her, woo her, assail her. Sir Andrew said by his troth he would not undertake her in this company, and asked if that was the meaning of accost. Maria said fare you well, gentlemen. Sir Toby said if she let part so, Sir Andrew, he wished he might never draw sword again. Sir Andrew said if she parted so, mistress, he wished he might never draw sword again, and asked if she thought he had fools in hand. Maria said she had not him by the hand. Sir Andrew said marry, but she should have, and offered his hand. Maria said now, sir, thought was free, and asked him to bring his hand to the buttery bar and let it drink. Sir Andrew asked wherefore, sweet-heart, and what her metaphor was. Maria said it was dry, sir. Sir Andrew said he thought so too, because he was not such an ass but he could keep his hand dry, and asked what her jest was. Maria said a dry jest, sir. Sir Andrew asked if she was full of them. Maria said she had them at her fingers' ends, but now that she let go his hand, she was barren. Sir Toby said O knight, he lacked a cup of Canary, because he had never seen him so put down. Sir Andrew said never in his life, he thought, unless he saw Canary put him down; sometimes he had no more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man had, but he was a great eater of beef, and he believed that did harm to his wit. Sir Toby said no question. Sir Andrew said if he thought that, he would forswear it, and that he would ride home tomorrow. Sir Toby asked purquoy, my dear knight. Sir Andrew asked what purquoy was, do or not do, and said he wished he had spent his time learning languages instead of fencing, dancing, and bear-baiting; O had he but followed the arts. Sir Toby said then he would have had an excellent head of hair. Sir Andrew asked why, would that have mended his hair. Sir Toby said past question, for he saw it would not cool his nature. Sir Andrew said but it became him well enough, did it not. Sir Toby said excellent, it hung like flax on a distaff, and he hoped to see a housewife take him between her legs and spin it off. Sir Andrew said faith he would home tomorrow, because his niece would not be seen, or if she were, it was four to one she would none of him, because the Count himself here hard by wooed her. Sir Toby said she would none o'th Count, she would not match above her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit; he had heard her swear it; tut, there was life in't, man. Sir Andrew said he would stay a month longer, because he was a fellow o'th strangest mind in the world and delighted in masks and revels sometimes altogether. Sir Toby asked if he was good at these kickshawses, knight. Sir Andrew said as any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of his betters, and yet he would not compare with an old man. Sir Toby asked what was his excellence in a galliard, knight. Sir Andrew said faith, he could cut a caper. Sir Toby said and he could cut the mutton to't. Sir Andrew said he thought he had the back-trick, simply as strong as any man in Illyria. Sir Toby asked wherefore these things were hid, wherefore these gifts had a curtain before them, whether they were like to take dust like mistress Mall's picture, and why he did not go to church in a galliard and come home in a coranto. Sir Toby said his very walk should be a jig, and he would not so much as make water but in a sink-a-pace; what did he mean, was it a world to hide virtues in? He said he had thought by the excellent constitution of his leg it was formed under the star of a galliard. Sir Andrew said it was strong, and it did indifferent well in a dam'd colour'd stock, and asked if they should sit about some revels. Sir Toby said what should they do else, were they not born under Taurus? Sir Andrew said Taurus, that sides and heart. Sir Toby said no sir, it was legs and thighs, and told him to let him see him caper. He said ha, higher, ha, ha, excellent.

Later, Viola, disguised as a young man and called Cesario, met Valentine. Valentine said that if the Duke continued these favours towards him, Cesario, he was like to be much advanced, because the Duke had known him but three days, and already he was no stranger. Viola said Valentine either feared the Duke's humour or his negligence, since he called in question the continuance of his love, and asked whether the Duke was inconstant in his favours. Valentine said no, believe him. Then Duke Orsino came with Curio and attendants. Viola said he thanked Valentine, for here came the Count. The Duke asked who saw Cesario, ho. Viola said on his attendance, my lord, here. The Duke told him to stand a while aloof, and said Cesario knew no less but all, because he had unclasped to him the book even of his secret soul. He told him, good youth, to address his gate unto Olivia, be not denied access, stand at her doors, and tell them there his fixed foot should grow till he had audience. Viola said sure, my noble lord, if she was so abandoned to her sorrow as it was spoke, she never would admit him. The Duke said be clamorous, and leap all civil bounds, rather than make unprofitable return. Viola asked, say he did speak with her, my lord, what then. The Duke said then he should unfold the passion of his love, surprise her with discourse of his dear faith, and that it would become him well to act his woes, because she would attend it better in his youth than in a nuncio's of more grave aspect. Viola said he thought not so, my lord. The Duke said dear lad, believe it, for they shall yet belie his happy years that say he is a man: Diana's lip was not more smooth and rubious, his small pipe was as the maiden's organ, shrill and sound, and all was semblative a woman's part. He said he knew his constellation was right apt for this affair, and gave him some four or five attendants, all if he would, because he himself was best when least in company. He told him to prosper well in this, and he should live as freely as his lord, to call his fortunes his. Viola said he would do his best to woo the lady, yet it was a barren strife, because whoever he wooed, himself would be his wife.

At Olivia's house, Maria told the Clown that either he must tell where he had been, or she would not open her lips so wide as a bristle may enter, in way of his excuse, because my lady would hang him for his absence. The Clown said let her hang him, because he that was well hanged in this world needed to fear no colours. Maria asked him to make that good. The Clown said he should see none to fear. Maria said that was a good Lenten answer, and she could tell him where that saying was born, of I fear no colours. The Clown asked where, good mistress Mary. Maria said in the wars, and that he might be bold to say in his foolery. The Clown said well, God give them wisdom that had it, and those that were fools, let them use their talents. Maria said yet he would be hanged for being so long absent, or to be turned away, and asked if that was not as good as a hanging to him. The Clown said many a good hanging prevented a bad marriage, and for turning away, let summer bear it out. Maria asked if he was resolute then. The Clown said not so neither, but he was resolved on two points. Maria said that if one broke, the other would hold, or if both broke, his gaskins would fall. The Clown said apt in good faith, very apt, and told her to go her way, because if Sir Toby would leave drinking, she was as witty a piece of Eve's flesh as any in Illyria. Maria told him peace, you rogue, no more o'that, because here came my lady, and he had best make his excuse wisely.

Olivia came in with Malvolio. The Clown said wit, and it be his will, put him into good fooling, because those wits that thought they had wit did very oft prove fools, and he that was sure he lacked wit might pass for a wise man. He asked what Quinapalus said, better a witty fool than a foolish wit, and said God bless her, lady. Olivia said take the fool away. The Clown said do you not hear, fellows, take away the lady. Olivia said go to, he was a dry fool, she would no more of him, and besides he grew dishonest. The Clown said two faults, madona, that drink and good counsel would amend: for give the dry fool drink, then was the fool not dry; bid the dishonest man mend himself, if he mended, he was no longer dishonest; if he could not, let the botcher mend him; anything that was mended was but patched; virtue that transgressed was but patched with sin, and sin that amended was but patched with virtue. If that simple syllogism would serve, so; if it would not, what remedy? As there was no true cuckold but calamity, so beauty was a flower; the lady had bade them take away the fool, therefore he said again, take her away. Olivia said sir, she had bade them take away him. The Clown said misprision in the highest degree, and said lady, cucullus non facit monachum, that was as much to say as he wore not motley in his brain; good madona, give him leave to prove her a fool. Olivia asked if he could do it. The Clown said dexterously, good madona. Olivia told him to make his proof. The Clown said he must catechize her for it, madona, and asked good mouse of virtue to answer him. Olivia said well sir, for want of other idleness, she would bide his proof. The Clown asked good madona, why mourned she. Olivia said good fool, for her brother's death. The Clown said he thought his soul was in hell, madona. Olivia said she knew his soul was in heaven, fool. The Clown said the more fool, madona, to mourn for her brother's soul, being in heaven, and told the gentlemen to take away the fool. Olivia asked Malvolio what he thought of this fool, whether he did not mend. Malvolio said yes, and should do till the pangs of death shook him, because infirmity that decayed the wise did ever make the better fool. The Clown said God send him, sir, a speedy infirmity, for the better increasing of his folly, because Sir Toby would be sworn that he was no fox, but he would not pass his word for two pence that Malvolio was no fool. Olivia asked Malvolio how he said to that. Malvolio said he marvelled her ladyship took delight in such a barren rascal, because he had seen him put down the other day with an ordinary fool that had no more brain than a stone; look you now, he was out of his guard already, and unless she laughed and ministered occasion to him, he was gagged; he protested he took these wise men that crowed so at these set kinds of fools no better than the fools' zanies. Olivia said O, he was sick of self-love, Malvolio, and tasted with a distempered appetite; to be generous, guiltless, and of free disposition was to take those things for bird-bolts that he deemed cannon bullets; there was no slander in an allowed fool, though he did nothing but rail, nor no railing in a known discreet man, though he did nothing but reprove. The Clown said now Mercury endue her with leasing, for she spoke well of fools.

Maria came in and said madam, there was at the gate a young gentleman who much desired to speak with her. Olivia asked if it was from Count Orsino. Maria said she knew not, madam, but he was a fair young man and well attended. Olivia asked who of her people held him in delay. Maria said Sir Toby, madam, her kinsman. Olivia said fetch him off, she prayed him, because he spoke nothing but madman; fie on him. She told Malvolio to go, and if it was a suit from the Count, to say she was sick, or not at home, or what he would, to dismiss it. Then she told the Clown that now he saw how his fooling grew old, and people disliked it. The Clown said she had spoke for them, madona, as if her eldest son should be a fool, whose skull Jove crammed with brains, for here he came. Sir Toby came in. The Clown said one of her kin had a most weak pia-mater. Olivia said by her honour, half drunk, and asked what he was at the gate, cousin. Sir Toby said a gentleman. Olivia asked a gentleman, what gentleman. Sir Toby said 'twas a gentleman here, a plague o'these pickled herring, and asked how now, sot. The Clown said good Sir Toby. Olivia said cousin, cousin, how had he come so early by this lethargy. Sir Toby said lechery, he defied lechery, and said there was one at the gate. Olivia asked I marry, what was he. Sir Toby said let him be the devil and he would, he cared not; give me faith, say he; well, it was all one, and went away. Olivia asked the fool what a drunken man was like. The Clown said like a drowned man, a fool, and a mad man: one draught above heat made him a fool, the second madded him, and a third drowned him. Olivia told him to go and seek the crowner, and let him sit o'my coz, because he was in the third degree of drink, he was drowned, and to go look after him. The Clown said he was but mad yet, madona, and the fool should look to the madman.

Malvolio came back and said madam, yond young fellow swore he would speak with her. He had told him she was sick, but he took on him to understand so much, and therefore came to speak with her. He had told him she was asleep, but he seemed to have a foreknowledge of that too, and therefore came to speak with her. He asked what was to be said to him, lady, because he was fortified against any denial. Olivia told him to tell him he should not speak with her. Malvolio said he had been told so, and he said he would stand at her door like a sheriff's post, and be the supporter to a bench, but he would speak with her. Olivia asked what kind of man he was. Malvolio said why, of mankinde. Olivia asked what manner of man. Malvolio said of very ill manner, because he would speak with her, will she or no. Olivia asked of what personage and years he was. Malvolio said not yet old enough for a man, nor young enough for a boy: as a squash is before 'tis a peascod, or a codling when 'tis almost an apple; 'twas with him in standing water, between boy and man. He said he was very well-favour'd, and he spoke very shrewishly, and one would think his mother's milk were scarce out of him. Olivia said let him approach, and call in her gentlewoman. Malvolio called gentlewoman, my lady calls.

Olivia asked for her veil and said come, throw it over her face, they would once more hear Orsino's embassy. Viola came in and asked which was the honourable lady of the house. Olivia said speak to her, she would answer for her, and asked his will. Viola said most radiant, exquisite, and unmatchable beauty, and prayed her to tell him if this was the lady of the house, for he never saw her. He said he would be loath to cast away his speech, because besides that it was excellently well penned, he had taken great pains to con it; good beauties, let him sustain no scorn, for he was very compatible, even to the least sinister usage. Olivia asked whence he came. Viola said he could say little more than he had studied, and that question was out of his part; good gentle one, give him modest assurance if she was the lady of the house, that he might proceed in his speech. Olivia asked if he was a comedian. Viola said no, his profound heart, and yet by the very fangs of malice he swore he was not that he played, and asked if she was the lady of the house. Olivia said if she did not usurp herself, she was. Viola said most certain, if she was she, she did usurp herself, for what was hers to bestow was not hers to reserve; but this was from his commission, and he would on with his speech in her praise, and then show her the heart of his message. Olivia said come to what was important in it, she forgave him the praise. Viola said alas, he had taken great pains to study it, and it was poetical. Olivia said it was the more like to be feigned, and prayed him to keep it in; she had heard he was saucy at her gates, and had allowed his approach rather to wonder at him than to hear him; if he was not mad, be gone; if he had reason, be brief, for it was not that time of moon with her to make one in so skipping a dialogue. Maria said will you hoist sail, sir, here lies your way. Viola said no, good swabber, he was to hull there a little longer, and asked some mollification for her giant, sweet lady, and told him his mind, for he was a messenger. Olivia said sure he had some hideous matter to deliver, when the courtesy of it was so fearful, and told him to speak his office. Viola said it alone concerned her ear; he brought no overture of war, no taxation of homage; he held the olive in his hand, and his words were as full of peace as matter. Olivia said yet he began rudely, and asked what he was and what he would. Viola said the rudeness that had appeared in him he had learned from his entertainment; what he was and what he would were as secret as maidenhead: to her ears, divinity; to any others, profanation. Olivia said give them the place alone, they would hear this divinity. When they were gone, she asked now sir, what was his text. Viola said most sweet lady. Olivia said that was a comfortable doctrine, and much might be said of it, and asked where lay his text. Viola said in Orsino's bosom. Olivia asked in his bosom, in what chapter of his bosom. Viola said to answer by the method, in the first of his heart. Olivia said O, she had read it, it was heresy, and asked if he had no more to say. Viola said good madam, let him see her face. Olivia asked if he had any commission from his lord to negotiate with her face, and said he was now out of his text, but they would draw the curtain and show him the picture; look you sir, such a one she was this present, and asked if it was not well done. Viola said excellently done, if God did all. Olivia said it was in grain, sir, it would endure wind and weather. Viola said it was beauty truly blent, whose red and white Nature's own sweet and cunning hand had laid on; lady, she was the cruellest she alive, if she would lead these graces to the grave and leave the world no copy. Olivia said O sir, she would not be so hard-hearted; she would give out divers schedules of her beauty, it should be inventoried and every particle and utensil labelled to her will: as, item two lips indifferent red, item two grey eyes, with lids to them, item one neck, one chin, and so forth; she asked if he was sent hither to praise her. Viola said he saw what she was, she was too proud, but if she were the devil, she was fair; his lord and master loved her, O such love could be but recompensed, though she were crowned the nonpareil of beauty. Olivia asked how he loved her. Viola said with adorations, fertile tears, with groans that thundered love, and sighs of fire. Olivia said her lord did know her mind, she could not love him; yet she supposed him virtuous, knew him noble, of great estate, of fresh and stainless youth, in voices well divulged, free, learned, and valiant, and in dimension and the shape of nature a gracious person; but yet she could not love him; he might have taken his answer long ago. Viola said if he did love her in his master's flame, with such a suffering, such a deadly life, in her denial he would find no sense, he would not understand it. Olivia asked why, what would he. Viola said make him a willow cabin at her gate, and call upon his soul within the house, write loyal cantons of contemned love, and sing them loud even in the dead of night; hallow her name to the reverberate hills, and make the babbling gossip of the air cry out Olivia; O she should not rest between the elements of air and earth, but she should pity him. Olivia said he might do much, and asked what was his parentage. Viola said above his fortunes, yet his state was well: he was a gentleman. Olivia said get him to his lord, she could not love him, let him send no more, unless perchance he came to her again to tell her how he took it; fare him well, she thanked him for his pains, and gave him money to spend for her. Viola said he was no fee'd post, lady, let her keep her purse, because his master, not himself, lacked recompense; love make his heart of flint that she should love, and let her fervour like his master's be placed in contempt; farewell, fair cruelty.

After Viola left, Olivia repeated his words about parentage and being a gentleman, and said she would be sworn he was one, because his tongue, face, limbs, actions, and spirit gave him five-fold blazon. She told herself not too fast, soft, soft, unless the master were the man. She asked how now, even so quickly might one catch the plague. She said she thought she felt this youth's perfections with an invisible and subtle stealth creep in at her eyes, and said well, let it be. She called Malvolio. He came and said here, madam, at her service. Olivia told him to run after that same peevish messenger, the Count's man, because he had left this ring behind him, would she or not; tell him she would none of it; desire him not to flatter with his lord, nor hold him up with hopes, because she was not for him; if that the youth would come this way tomorrow, she would give him reasons for it, and told him to hie him, Malvolio. Malvolio said madam, he would. Olivia said she did I know not what, and feared to find her eye too great a flatterer for her mind; fate, show thy force, themselves they did not owe, what was decreed must be, and be this so.